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Thursday, September 13, 2007

Afterthought

loving you was a dreamless sleep, which went by all in one flash,
innocence wrenching itself awake too fast lay between us
after making love, quiet, touching along the length of our bodies,
a familiar touch of the long-married in each other's existence,
our loss bedding down between us hugging, snuggling to sleep,
its face gleaming with satisfaction at being this very child
we had created and placed to the bosom of our dying love.

connections broken in the half darkness we'd look at each other
and attempt to smile as though everything was alright again,
trying to touch arms across the little, startlingly muscled space
of us, habit of memory propelling the sleeper in us
that only the mortal sounds of speech could sing awake,
yet we'd choose to remain silent as if we still loved each other
enough to read a lover's mind, afraid to touch our hidden places.

with the passing of love all the nights were like this, all alike,
our breathing gnawing at each other's soul, cutting in
past happy memories that stopped in the mind's hallways
to discuss our moods, in the sweet years when we believed that love
would last, I would flourish in your countenance, then I started to die
when the motions died out in the dark, and I couldn't cry
myself to sleep, for however lost even my tears needed a cause.

our two souls would moor on distant shores after rocking nowhere,
faces losing focus as we'd hug pillows instead of each other,
this was the end, knowing love wasn't in me as I was in you,
touches were just an afterthought trying to find what we'd lost,
wanting to leave you even when guilt had a knife to my throat,
exchanging each bad dream that would decide to succumb to sleep,
my bones inside me whispering that dying was a difficult feat.

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