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Friday, June 08, 2007

The "H" Word

However too utopian an ideal it is at this present stage in our evolution to hope that we can eliminate hate from the globe, attempting to remove the word itself from our personal lexicons goes some way to reducing the part it plays in our lives.

Although the word itself is just that, a word, as with most words, the meaning and power it carries by simply using it can be devastating. The word should not be used lightly, preferably not at all.

The effect of the word is best summed up in a story about a man listening to his son yelling at his mother. After mother and son had finished fighting and made up the man calls his son and says: "Take this hammer and drive this nail into that piece of wood". Afterwards the father tells him to pull out the nail. Then the father says: "When you fight with your mother, you drive a nail through her heart. But look at how when you are forgiven and you take out the nail, the hole stays."

Every word we use in our daily lives should be used with care, but hate is not just a nail with which to hammer a hole that stays in another's heart. It has it's own duality. For the more you hate, the more that hate is not placed in the object of your hatred, but rather in the hater's heart. Ultimately, it is more damaging to the one that hates then the hated. When you have hate in your heart, it can spread like a virus, and it becomes easier to hate; polluting your heart with endless hatred, finally turning your heart black like a smoker's lung covered in nicotine and tar. And like a diseased lung, it will refuse to work.

In using the word - whether we mean to or not - we spread battle and conflict with the love that is also in our hearts. There is no good that comes directly from hate. By hating something, you allow that thing to further bother you even more then it already has. If you really "dislike" something so much, then let it go. If you don't then you are allowing it to control you, thus increasing your hatred towards it. By just simply using the word this chain reaction can happen.

Note that as we fill up on one negative emotion in our lives, so too will the other negative forces enter our lives more regularly.

Getting Expectations of Others to a Minimum

Ever thought how we could prevent ourselves from hating?

The answer to that lies in another question. Where does hatred come from? There can be many reasons and ways for hatred to come about, but there is a simple answer. More or less, the source of hatred forms when our expectations are not met to our satisfaction. When one expects something, and it does not happen how we expected it to, we become disappointed. If we continue to have ideas on how things should be, and discriminate between things based off of our opinions, we are sure to eventually be let down. This can lead to hatred in that thing which is not to our satisfaction.

Here's the simple answer: Do not expect. Even though we should have greater expectations of ourselves, we must expect less from others. If we do not expect, we can not be disappointed. We must remain neutral and remove our discrimination and prejudice which both can lead to hatred. You'll note I haven't stated that the word is a "bad" word. That itself implies a discrimination, an expectation, a prejudice is in effect. Remember that discrimination can be as simple as valuing one thing over another. Remove that.

Each small removal will bring its own reward and don’t be afraid that by reaching this neutral state that life will be boring.

But others may dispute a life without hate. Where will the passion be in our fights for a social causes, or how can we win disputes without some type of negative force to bolster us? Surely in these current times of the war against rising terrorism, soldiers need to be taught hatred when coming face to face with the enemy in times of war? Hate is necessary, isn't it?

It isn't necessary as a discipline to help us succeed in life. It should exist as a standard in what not to do. If soldiers used compassion in times of crisis the relativeness of a faceless enemy would be disappear. Realising the objective isn't to look for enemies to fight, then the soldier can be utilised better, as a well equipped ambassador for peace missions.

This is also the way to ease suffering.

Count how many times I've used the "H" word in this article. And understand that if you don't feel too good as you read this, the word may have something to do with that. It's not a great subject to talk about.

However much we may manage to eliminate it from our lives, conversely we still have to teach hate in order to warn of its dangers, because it's still very much prominent in our societies. But by using the word less, we'll manage to remove it from our actions by trying to reach a state of neutrality. In doing so, the word would neither be bad nor good any more. The two would be one. We would have finally made hate redundant, because we'll have kept the word, but lost its meaning.

My Life Handbook: Epilogue: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6

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