Surrender What You Carry
It is time to celebrate, for it is a joyous occasion. I am closing my Tarkan Deluxe blog. This post will be its last.
We will keep all our archived pages online as long as our host Blogger allows us to, accessible to anyone who wishes to come along and read them. In about a month, we shall change to a static frontpage (UPDATE: here it is), providing links to our main pages for Tarkan fans across the world.
I have personally emailed all our closest friends of our decision, which has been a few years in coming I must admit, and they all agree it's the right time to go. I thank our guest writers for their contributions made to my blog. Each input has been an invaluable education, an individual colour, and a great opportunity to learn something new and grow.
But there are so many projects, so many horizons to set off to, that this closure is going to be the start of a wonderful new adventure. This was fun, but the future will be even better.
A Celebration of Endings
I call our closure a time of celebration, because that is how I see endings of any kind - as a chance to look back and celebrate what has gone, and look toward the future in anticipation of what will be. The loss of a good friend taught me that sadness is selfish, and no goodbye is a sad occasion unless we choose it to be. As death is a chance to celebrate life, so, too, is every ending a chance to celebrate a new beginning.
I hope that in some way this blog has been a valuable tool for its readers. When I first opened Tarkan Deluxe, we were the first blog of its kind, now there are many insightful Tarkan blogs out there, and Tarkan's official channel themselves are active, too. The standard of English translations to Turkish lyrics was bordering on unintelligible, now they are at least being translated with tips we have provided over the years, and fans sharing these works have started to actually credit names with translations - because many are now clued up that translations are intelligent property, too.
When I look back to the situation as it was, and to the situation as it is now - where a Tarkan fan can get their daily fix of all things Tarkan from a multitude of sources - it is indeed a time to celebrate. With Tarkan Deluxe gone, it is a rewarding opportunity to take a look around at what else is out there, and it will be fun just reading for a change and letting others do all the hard work for Tarkan fans!
And for the record, I never wanted to attain any degree of popularity or notoriety in the blogosphere where Tarkan fans were concerned. Those that know me, I mean really know me (not think they do after three e-mails of pie-in-the-sky and then starting a campaign of idiocy from their feverish brains) know I don't shoot for things like that.
I can leave with a clear conscience. I have done what I can. The baton is passed with the best of intentions.
New Projects, New Horizons
The prospect of having new outlets for my writing and exciting new projects on the horizon has doubtless had an impact on my decision to stop this blog, as well. It seems unfair to carry something that I feel I'm dragging behind me - both to me and the wonderful people that have been holding the blog up between my, ever-widening, absences.
I feel it has been especially unfair to Adelind, the wonderful lady who kept up the Tarkan News Index and who nevertheless has been saying let's not stop just yet ... let's stop at such-and-such a time. I have literally had to pry her fingers away from the keyboard. But closure in real life is not so neat. It isn't deliberate or planned, or for show, or to cause some kind of reaction. The end comes when it comes. Our friends are right, it's the right time.
I love you so much Adelind; I love so much your never-ending energy that still wanted to go on! It is with full cringe worthy cliché that I say one of the things I will miss about Tarkan Deluxe will be our constant contact, but I will most certainly be popping in for Christmas breakfast at your home with your loving family! And that is another thing closure brings - new opportunities - I now have time to visit all those doors this blog has opened for me across the world.
No matter what anyone says about the future, the real world will always be the one out there - not the one in here.
For my departure from the blogosphere is not that I have less to say; just less time in which to say it. Indeed I have more, so much more that I wish I could share with all of you. The new things I have seen, the new projects I am working on. My new poetry is intense, and more personal than it has ever been, but as the readership grew and grew (we were having daily hits in the thousands at one point) I became more and more reluctant to share what I wrote.
It felt like I wasn't sharing any more, but shouting.
Surrender What You Carry
But I will surely look back on my many posts and the comments I've received years from now and have a wonderful (and sometimes bitter-sweet) snapshot of my life during a time of great transition for me. The boy who began this blog, is not the man who closes it today. It is the end of an era for me; a spirit-led journey over six years during which I lost a great and good friend, and found many more - in the most unlikeliest of places. I lived on the streets of Cyprus, where refugees opened their humble homes and hearts to me. It's a public record of a very private time for me.
However, because a vast majority of the posts were not about my personal life, I will keep the archives online to serve as a record for fans of Tarkan, should they wish to use it. Or at the very least, as a potent testimony to the Iraq War, which I hope will be long over by the time anyone looks back on this blog from the distant future.
I know it might seem highly doubtful, but it can be done. Some of the last poetry I had written for the blog was about Iraq, and my brief visit there, and where I witnessed a few bloody endings (like in so many hangouts in the Bible, Torah and Koran). Yet, if we remember that there are no endings, only changes, and only change has the last say - then we must also trust that change, too, knows that where we hope and keep positive in the midst of its coming and use it for a greater good, death and terror will not have the final word.
Hopelessness, like sadness, becomes burdensome to the spirit if we use them as rocks tied around our necks to keep us from moving on. And that is of no benefit to anyone - not to those we have lost, or to those we must help to keep on living despite all they have suffered.
We need to surrender the heavy rocks we each carry with a light heart, and not be afraid to say goodbye. For in this beautiful life we only really carry with us our own shadow.
And we surrender that in the light.