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Tuesday, December 20, 2005

My Say In Simple Terms*

*This post has been simplified because of a mail I received from Timea Baksa.

"If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;"

If— by Rudyard Kipling

"Be without tongue when cursed"
Yunus Emre

I write this post with a heavy heart.

Damn, with all the real suffering and trouble in the world, even having to mention something like this is petty.

I thought that keeping silent would lessen the negativity and ease the situation.

I was wrong.

Still, I had to think long and hard before I broke my silence.

Yesterday I received some mails about a public discussion concerning me in a Tarkan Yahoo! group. I wrote a long post about it.

In this simplified version of that post I will again mention full names, so as to distinguish from those who are not involved. I will also attempt to mention everything in exact detail, because it seems that when I asked my friend B to be general in her condemnation of the things she read about me in the past by someone I will mention below, other readers took it to mean themselves, also.

This particular post is not about Timea Baksa or Marleen van Woensal, or any other person that uses the Tarkan Yahoo! groups...apart from one person, Mrs Inge van der Lugt.

If anyone is really bothered about such frivolity, then read on. If not, then please do something more substantial and browse through my archives.

Replies From Me to Mrs Inge van der Lugt
This person has written publicly about me, stating that:

  • I sent her hate mail.
    Read my reply.

  • I took an article she wrote off my site because "I was mad at her" and hated her.
    Read my reply.

  • My friend B was not real.
    Read my reply.

  • I have lied and made up all the people that have emailed me and that I have responded to.
    Read my reply.

But all that isn't enough.

  • This lady also wrote: "He may be king of the Internet Tarkan info, but when it comes to getting people to meet Tarkan he has never been able to achieve anything. He has never even met Tarkan himself and I wonder if Tarkan knows that he exists. He is just obsessed with Tarkan like many of us and he is good at the internet. As for the rest he is not that special.

    Put into simple terms she is saying that I have a secret Tarkan fetish and am really just 'killing myself' to meet him.

    Putting aside her own views on Tarkan, which she assures her doctors she has come to terms with, I myself have never had delusions about Tarkan or put myself out as an aid to help people meet the singer. In fact in many of my responses to mails I keep telling people that I am just an ordinary guy, with no special contacts.

    I was very happy when Inge met Tarkan, and I expressed this in my final reply to an email she sent me. I can't understand why it must be so hard for Inge to believe that meeting Tarkan is not on my agenda.

    Did I give the opposite impression on this blog - or anywhere on my posts? Sorry, does it look like I am competing? Excuse me - when exactly did I say to Inge that I wanted to meet Tarkan? Could she please send me a copy of that particular mail...if she indeed has a copy, because it seems to have escaped my memory. Plus, I have never seen what I do on the Net for Tarkan fans as a type of competition...and frankly I think that lowers the tone of everyone's hard work.

    In answer to emails sent to me, one thing I was going to write, which unfortunately has had to be replaced by replying to Inge's accusations, is that I was going to expand on what I meant when I disagreed with B in my latest letter to her about there being no Tarkan sources on the Net before me...because that isn't the case. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for Marleen and Lady Serena's sites.

    Elele nagazine cover with TarkanThese two sites started it all, way back before Tarkan had an official site. Lady Serena was mentioned in the Turkish Elele magazine interview of 2001 (see top left pic for magazine cover), which I have translated and added to the archives at Tarkan Translations.

    Hard work takes time. Even before I read the things mentioned about me at Marleen's Yahoo! group, I wouldn't be human if I didn't sometimes wonder whether it was worth it. I have a huge backlog of work that needs attending to. For example, the corrections and checks my sister-in-law did for my Tarkan documentary were done almost a year ago. The amendments published only recently.

    So, I am relieved to know that if I took my sites off and deleted all my posts tomorrow, the show would still go on. That is the great thing. It makes it less of a burden. This isn't about competition at the end of the day. It's simply doing what you can, in the best way you can.
    Read the rest of my reply here.

(Yes, my normal reader, the insanity continues but only a little bit more...)

If one cared a little, one might wonder just exactly what lies at the heart of her problems? But then again, I'm no doctor.

Now, after seeing what I have to put with, I hope that normal people will appreciate how difficult it sometimes is to do all of this.

I am saddened, but not by such people...merely that one has to dig low and give a response. In my next post I hope to get out of the playground and back to what I enjoy doing, some good writing.

Ironically however, I always believe that actions speak louder than words.

Time will tell the truth.

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